Erica's success story
Hearing success stories can be helpful if you're going through infertility. The story below is shared to provide a positive example of a fertility journey. The woman in this story was not a client of My Fertility Coach.
Erica, age 39
Please share a bit about your fertility journey and where you are now:
I married my husband, Josh, when I was 26 and he was 29 years of age. After 10 months of marriage Josh and I were excited to begin adding to our family. After six months of trying I became concerned. I had always had regular cycles, and thought it would be easy.
After a year of no pregnancy, I saw a fertility doctor, who offered options to help us become pregnant. This included a Uterine Suspension, two endometriosis surgeries, one artificial insemination, three full rounds of In Vitro Fertilizations (IVF), and a frozen IVF round. Of all these things I disliked the 2-week-wait, the time spent to see if the fertility round had resulted in a pregnancy.
Now, I have 8-year-old triplets (one boy, and 2 girls) from the last full round of IVF we did. It has been a pretty amazing journey!
What tips would you share with someone just starting their fertility journey? Anything you wish you'd known before you started?
I came to realize we had to limit our time with people who did not share our outlook on the future we pictured for ourselves, and this included social media (which I had to eliminate all together). Persistence is what drove Josh and I to our future, and this was our Plan A. It is so hard when people try to talk you into their Plan B, such as adoption, or giving up. Josh and I needed to trust ourselves and strive for our goal. That isn’t to say we didn’t know about Plan B-it was just a place Josh and I needed to arrive together.
Find support from people who have experienced infertility. In my experience, it helped me feel less alone.
While reading infertility blogs and panels, it can seem like no one ever becomes pregnant. My doctor once told me all the people who wrote those posts are usually pregnant or have adopted, and are too busy to update their posts with happy updates. Later, I certainly had no time to update my infertility panel posts when I was raising 3 infants at once!
What lesson(s) did you learn during your struggle that has helped you in your life since?
- Opinions: I try not to give advice or opinions that are not requested, unless I have been through something similar. I take a beat, and try not to judge so quickly.
- Patience: I think the 2-week-wait showed me a lot about the patience I would need to raise triplets. Lots of deep breaths are needed!
- Gratitude: Be grateful for the life and friends you have, even if they haven’t always told you what you needed to hear.
- Support: Ask for help from those who understand, and talk to others who share your experiences.
What was the low point along your journey and how did you get through it?
In our case, we received some “cautiously optimistic” news after our second round of IVF. We had an elevated Beta number, but not a very high one. We were excited. We had to go back for testing to see if the numbers increased. We were waiting for the phone call (while at a bookstore, wondering if we should buy fertility books or baby books) with the results of Test 2. The result was negative, but we felt we had been so close. We were so devastated, and were zombies for weeks after that.
Were there moments of joy, hope, or peace along the way that stand out - in addition to knowing your baby was near?
My pregnancy with triplets was very high risk, so I didn’t feel peace until we brought all 3 children home from the NICU.
Anything else you'd like to share?
Do not go through your experience alone. Find support through a coach, support group, or a friend who has been through this. If you are reading this, you may feel as I did when I read an infertility story that turned successfully fertile. On one hand, I felt like I would get pregnant just like the story teller if we could hang in there long enough. On the other hand, I worried the story would haunt me since I felt I wasn’t ever getting pregnant like the person I was reading about. One way or another your family will come to you, just hang in there and let your story pan out.