A Love Letter to the Mamas-To-Be

To the women in the midst of a struggle to build their families, I want you to know, you are so strong. Maybe you know this. But in case you don't, or you need a boost, I've written you a letter. A love letter, really, for the mamas-to-be.

You are on your way. 

To be a parent, you must give of yourself. You give up in order to benefit someone else. Isn't that the definition of love? 

But you - mama-to-be - you're already doing this.

You've given up so much already. You've given up assurances you've held for most of your life. The assurance of your body systems working as expected or a natural progression you've counted on since elementary school. ("First comes love...then comes marriage...then comes you with the baby carriage.")

Maybe you've given up comforts or habits like caffeine, alcohol, sugar, or your favorite exercise.

Depending on your path, you may have given up some of your modesty. (Hello, "Wanda".) Your abdomen is bruised and so are your relationships.

You've given up any original timelines and replaced them with what feels like endless months of waiting.

You've given up the idea that conception is the end of the story. Instead you count minutes, hours, days, and finally weeks until you are in the "safe" zone of pregnancy...which may be the moment you hear your baby's first cry.

Yet, while you've given so much already, you still have more to give. Because what you're giving is replaced with what you know you will gain from their being, what you have already gained from the effort to have them with you.

You have more strength and resilience than you ever thought possible.

You are on your way.

You've gained so much already. You've gained wisdom that comes from disappointment, acceptance, and taking paths previously not considered. Strength that comes from hardship. Patience that comes from waiting. Love that comes from healing. You have more to impart to your future family than you had before this journey started.

So to you, I write this letter. To encourage, to recognize, to support, to strengthen. 

To the woman who gets up and goes to work while she is in the midst of a miscarriage: I see you.

To the one who comforts those around her while her own heart is breaking: I hear the cracking.

To those who stand up to educate the insensitive or ignorant so the rest of us don't have to: I thank you.

To those who create from their experience to help others: I appreciate you.

To those who believe when there seems no reason to do so: I validate you.

To the woman who faces her fears and yet steps over them to pursue her dreams: I support you.

To the one who cries in the bathroom and then goes back to the party, baby shower, or pregnancy announcement: I embrace you. 

To those who sift through the pieces of the journey and find hope: I believe in you.

To the one who believes in her heart, bones, and gut she will be a mother: I stand beside you.

To the one who just got the precious good news and yet hold your breath: I hold your hand and my breath with you.

To those who say "I'm pregnant" for the first time and believe it: I cheer and cry tears of joy with you.

And to those who hold their babies and know those tiny beings are what this was all about: I celebrate with you.

This is my love letter to you, mama-to-be. 

You are strong.

You are beautiful. 

You are capable, resilient, and strong.

I see you and believe you will be a wonderful mother. 

You are on your way.